Jen D'Intinosanto

Gethsamane

2010-09-24T00:30:00.002-04:00

Modesty ruled by fairs,
Plow through my fears.

Swim in my soul,
my synthesis sole.

Dicker not a pane,
Wooer to bring me pain.

Sinner deserves no medal,
oh, the pain of metal.

Wishing son,
Chameleon becomes my Sun.

why cunt is an awesome word

2010-06-21T00:34:00.001-04:00

so many stuck up sluts hate that word. Why? I just like to piss them off.

Who is like God?

2010-06-08T22:55:00.000-04:00

St. Michael the Archangel

(Hebrew "Who is like God?").

St. Michael is one of the principal angels; his name was the war-cry of the good angels in the battle fought in heaven against the enemy and his followers. Four times his name is recorded in Scripture:

(1) Daniel 10:13 sqq., Gabriel says to Daniel, when he asks God to permit the Jews to return to Jerusalem: "The Angel [D.V. prince] of the kingdom of the Persians resisted me . . . and, behold Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me . . . and none is my helper in all these things, but Michael your prince."

(2) Daniel 12, the Angel speaking of the end of the world and the Antichrist says: "At that time shall Michael rise up, the great prince, who standeth for the children of thy people."

(3) In the Catholic Epistle of St. Jude: "When Michael the Archangel, disputing with the devil, contended about the body of Moses", etc. St. Jude alludes to an ancient Jewish tradition of a dispute between Michael and Satan over the body of Moses, an account of which is also found in the apocryphal book on the assumption of Moses (Origen, De Principiis III.2.2). St. Michael concealed the tomb of Moses; Satan, however, by disclosing it, tried to seduce the Jewish people to the sin of hero-worship. St. Michael also guards the body of Eve, according to the "Revelation of Moses" ("Apocryphal Gospels", etc., ed. A. Walker, Edinburgh, p. 647).

(4) Apocalypse 12:7, "And there was a great battle in heaven, Michael and his angels fought with the dragon." St. John speaks of the great conflict at the end of time, which reflects also the battle in heaven at the beginning of time. According to the Fathers there is often question of St. Michael in Scripture where his name is not mentioned. They say he was the cherub who stood at the gate of paradise, "to keep the way of the tree of life" (Genesis 3:24), the angel through whom God published the Decalogue to his chosen people, the angel who stood in the way against Balaam (Numbers 22:22 sqq.), the angel who routed the army of Sennacherib (2 Kings 19:35).

Following these Scriptural passages, Christian tradition gives to St. Michael four offices:

•To fight against Satan.
•To rescue the souls of the faithful from the power of the enemy, especially at the hour of death.
•To be the champion of God's people, the Jews in the Old Law, the Christians in the New Testament; therefore he was the patron of the Church, and of the orders of knights during the Middle Ages.
•To call away from earth and bring men's souls to judgment ("signifer S. Michael repraesentet eas in lucam sanctam", Offert. Miss Defunct. "Constituit eum principem super animas suscipiendas", Antiph. off. Cf. The Shepherd of Hermas, Book III, Similitude 8, Chapter 3).
Regarding his rank in the celestial hierarchy opinions vary; St. Basil (Hom. de angelis) and other Greek Fathers, also Salmeron, Bellarmine, etc., place St. Michael over all the angels; they say he is called "archangel" because he is the prince of the other angels; others (cf. P. Bonaventura, op. cit.) believe that he is the prince of the seraphim, the first of the nine angelic orders. But, according to St. Thomas (Summa Ia.113.3) he is the prince of the last and lowest choir, the angels. The Roman Liturgy seems to follow the Greek Fathers; it calls him "Princeps militiae coelestis quem honorificant angelorum cives". The hymn of the Mozarabic Breviary places St. Michael even above the Twenty-four Elders. The Greek Liturgy styles him Archistrategos, "highest general" (cf. Menaea, 8 Nov. and 6 Sept.).

It was no ones fault

2010-06-08T05:27:00.000-04:00

and I apologize for saying it might be.

Eradicate Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Now!

2010-06-06T07:03:00.001-04:00

Eradicate Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Now!

SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome - is a tragic way for infants to die. The medical establishment seems to have no idea what causes it. Apparently healthy infants just suddenly die in their sleep, with no apparent warning. Two out of every thousand live-born infants die of this syndrome.

Cause Unknown or Cause Ignored?

But is the cause really unknown, or has it been ignored and marginalized? In the 1970s, an Australian doctor named Archie Kalokerinos volunteered to serve the Aboriginal people in the opal mining region of Australia. He found that an astonishing 50% of infants were dying, primarily from SIDS. He noted that the people and their infants were almost completely deficient of vitamin C in their diet, and began a supplementation program. Before long the infant mortality rate had dropped to near zero, and no child subsequently died of SIDS. In 1978, Dr. Irwin Stone, one of the doctors who pioneered research in vitamin C, reported this in a paper presented at the Conference On Controversies In Human And Clinical Nutrition that SIDS was in fact a result of what he called Chronic Subclinical Scurvy (vitamin C deficiency):

The Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) or Crib Death, has been shown by the Australian workers, A. Kalokerinos and G. Dettman, to be a manifestation of infantile scurvy, due to the fact that all infants, born of mothers who depended solely on their diet as their only source of ascorbate, are born with the CSS Syndrome after nine months of intrauterine scurvy (Stone. 1978). SIDS can be prevented by increasing the infant’s intake of ascorbate (Cook, 1978). This has been known and published since 1974 (Kalokerinos, 1974). (Irwin Stone, Eight Decades of Scurvy - The Case History of a Misleading Dietary Hypothesis, 1978).

Many of these infants were dying after receiving government-mandated vaccinations. Dr. Thomas Levy writes:

Vaccinations also generally present some degree of toxin insult to the body. Kalokerinos (1981) observed that vitamin C-deficient Aboriginal infants were often placed into an acute state of scurvy because of the additional vitamin C demands placed on their bodies by the vaccination injections, resulting in sudden death. (Thomas E. Levy, MD, JD, Vitamin C, Infectious Diseases, & Toxins – Curing The Incurable, 2002).

Dr. Kalokerinos wrote about his experience in his first book "Every Second Child," and with the help of other physicians organized a national tour of the U.S. with the other physician who worked with him on vitamin C and SIDS, Dr. Glen Dettman. But the medical profession here and the NIH marginalized and ignored his work.

Fast-forward to 2004. Here we are, thirty years after two courageous doctors found the root cause - and cure - for SIDS. Tens of thousands of infants have died unnecessarily, and more infant deaths seem inevitable. These are tragic deaths that were and are totally preventable. But doctors all over the world are still looking for an elusive cause, there are hundreds of SIDS research sites and support networks, and no one is talking about the vitamin C connection or doing anything about it, with the exception of a few doctors who have been using large-dose vitamin C for years such as Robert Cathcart of Los Altos, California. The medical establishment just refuses to believe that this syndrome could be caused by a simple nutrient deficiency.

Large Amounts of Vitamin C Essential for Health

Vitamin C - an essential nutrient more accurately called ascorbate - is needed by the human body in large quantities for literally dozens of metabolic processes, from tissue repair to recycling of cholesterol to neutralization of free radicals and toxins to the building of antibodies and white blood cells. Most animals - other than humans, primates, guinea pigs, and a couple of rare animals - produce their own vitamin C in large amounts from glucose (a simple sugar found in blood), either in their liver (mammals) or their kidneys (reptiles).

The optimum dose for all of these metabolic processes is about 200-1000 mg per 10 lbs of body weight, depending on the level of stress, activity, environmental toxins, and general health. We "use up" vitamin C faster if we work in a stressful job, exercise heavily, are exposed to toxins, or if we are ill.

If we do not ingest any vitamin C, we get scurvy; we need vitamin C to repair normal microscopic wear and tear of the walls of our arteries, and when they cannot be repaired, they hemorrhage. We literally bleed to death internally.

But what happens if we get some, but not enough? The "Recommended Daily Allowance" of vitamin C is a small fraction of the amount we - and infants - really need. Many metabolic processes will be compromised, but the outward signs won't be obvious. Artery wall repair will happen more slowly, and the human body compensates for this deficiency with a sticky plaque called lipoprotein(a) - the root cause of cardiovascular disease. Antibodies and white blood cells will be built incorrectly or not at all. Cholesterol, needed for nutrient transport, will not be recycled properly.

For infants, this is deadly. Their little bodies have very little reserves to draw upon. Without sufficient vitamin C, their immune systems and arteries are fragile. A single stressful event, a minor fall, a vaccination, a toxic exposure, or a simple virus or bacterial illness could tip the balance and kill them. Metabolic failure, heart failure, toxic trauma to vital organs, hemorrhage - it could happen dozens of ways. Sudden death, with no warning. SIDS.

We Can Eradicate SIDS

It's now time to eradicate this syndrome once and for all. It is time to supplement every child's diet with a minimum of 200 mg of vitamin C per day for each 10 lbs of body weight, and more - up to 1000 mg per day for each 10 lbs of body weight - for children who are ill or whose immune systems are compromised. For example, you would give a newborn infant (7-10 lbs) a minimum of about 150-200 mg per day.

If a child is ill or stressed, his or her body uses far more than that. It is easy to find out how much vitamin C a child really needs - too much causes a non-harmful, temporary diarrhea, and you just reduce the dosage until the diarrhea subsides. This is called the "bowel tolerance dose" by Dr. Robert Cathcart, who has been treating his patients with large-dosage vitamin C for more than twenty-five years.

Vitamin C that is usable for children is available in liquid form (such as Child-Life Vitamin C liquid) from many health food stores or online. Do not use varieties sweetened with honey or containing a lot of ingredients. Spread out the daily dose in three divided doses. Measure it carefully and mix it with pasteurized orange juice to give it to your child.

Pregnant mothers need to take vitamin C to provide enough to their babies in the womb, using the same formula of 200 mg per 10 lbs of body weight, or about 3000-4000 mg per day, in divided doses, for an adult of typical weight. You should take much more - up to your "bowel tolerance dose" - if you are ill or under stress. Vitamin C deficiency can affect the normal development of the child, so it is important to use supplemental vitamin C during pregnancy and starting immediately after the child is born.

Here's how to do the calculation: take your body weight or the weight of your child, divide by 10, and then multiply by 200 mg to get the minimum dose of vitamin C. So for a child who weighs 20 lbs, you divide 20 by 10, result 2, then multiply by 200, result 400 mg per day minimum dose. For an adult who weighs 150 lbs, divide by 10, result 15, then multiply by 200, result 3000 mg per day minimum dose.

For increased dosage if the child is ill or his or her immune system is compromised, you can provide up to 100-200 mg per 10 lbs of body weight for each individual dose, up to 5 doses per day, checking for bowel tolerance: if diarrhea occurs, reduce dosage until it subsides and then continue with a reduced dosage. Vitamin C can save the child's life in cases of severe influenza or pneumonia. (Always confer with a competent pediatrician if a child is severely ill! It is important to find a pediatrician who believes in vitamin C, so that if the child is hospitalized they will continue with vitamin C supplementation.) Once the child is well, gradually reduce vitamin C to the dosage you use regularly.

For vaccinations: In general, I recommend that parents seriously consider not vaccinating their children, and certainly never to vaccinate against hepatitis B, because the vaccine has a horrific reputation for harming children, and hepatitis B is both extremely rare and also quite curable. Vaccines in general contain both live (but "attenuated") viruses and a brew of toxic chemicals and preservatives, sometimes including mercury (thimerosal). This places a huge burden on the child's immune system, and quickly depletes vitamin C. Many SIDS victims have died shortly after vaccinations.

If you decide to vaccinate your child, increase the vitamin C dose dramatically several hours before and for several days after the vaccination to prevent vitamin C depletion and so that the child's immune and detoxification systems will have a chance to kill the viruses and neutralize the toxins. Demand non-thimerosal, single-dose, single-virus vaccines; the multiple-virus vaccines such as DPT and MMP have the worst reputations regarding harm to infants. Tetanus is probably the only disease for which there is any real justification for vaccination.

Is Vitamin C safe in these doses?

Vitamin C is safe in literally any amounts. As mentioned above, it is an essential nutrient needed in large quantities for dozens of metabolic processes. Many people, including this author, have taken very large doses of vitamin C for many years without any side effects, and live healthier lives as a result. 100,000 mg to 300,000 mg amounts have been given intravenously to people who are very ill with AIDS and other illnesses, with no adverse effects. It does not cause kidney stones, heart disease, or cancer; as a matter of fact, it prevents them. The pharmaceutical industry and its allies have gotten the media to spread false warnings about large-dose vitamin C to the media, and the refutations by prominent researchers and clinicians are never printed.

Eradicate SIDS Now!

Let's make SIDS history! If you are pregnant or you have an infant or older child, please begin vitamin C supplementation now. A Microsoft Word version of this article is available at http://www.cqs.com/sids.doc for public distribution. Please print, copy, send, and distribute this printable document widely, to your friends and relatives who have children, to everyone you know.

Jonathan Campbell, Health Consultant
January 15, 2004

References:

Kalokerinos Archie, Every Second Child. Thomas Nelson (Australia) Ltd., Melbourne, 1974.

Kalokerinos Archie, Medical Pioneer of the 20th Century. Biological Therapies Publishing, 2000

Levy Thomas, Vitamin C, Infectious Diseases, & Toxins - Curing the Incurable. Xlibris, 2002.

Hattersley J, The Answer to Crib Death “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome” (SIDS), Journal of Orthomolecular Medicine Volume 8, Number 4, 1993, pp.229-245

Stone I, Eight Decades of Scurvy - The Case History of a Misleading Dietary Hypothesis, presentation at the Conference On Controversies In Human And Clinical Nutrition, Boston University School of Medicine, Hyannis, Massachusetts. July 16, 1978

Erogenous Zones?!

2010-05-31T00:29:00.001-04:00

Some astrologists associate a certain astrological sign with the particular part of the body. Here we’d like to provide a kind of seduction plan that we hope will be helpful for you in discovering the sensual world of your partner.

Aries: the head and the face. Aries are more sensitive when you stroke his forehead and temples. They adore if you are playing with their hair: combing and running through his hair with your fingers. Aries women like kissing with the bristled or bearded men. A light graze of their lips will make the sensations just great.

Taurus: the neck. You may begin with a gentle touch at the back of his head, slowly going down and kissing his neck. You can surprise him if you touch his neck while adjusting the tie as if it was incidentally. Your sensual kisses and gentle bites should proceed slowly and naturally.

Gemini: hands, arms, shoulders. Try to run over his fingers, kissing inner side of the arm beginning with the elbow till the armpits. You will feel him shivering as long as you linger this foreplay.

Cancer: the breasts. Men as well as women are especially receptive to French kisses. And still the breast is one of the most sensitive parts of their bodies. Their reaction will be pungent when you use oral and manual stimulation of their nipples. Careful tingles can increase the pleasure.

Leo: the back. You can start the “main performance” in the bathroom. When you slightly rub his back with a sponge, he turns into a fluffy tomcat. Being on the peak of pleasure you may scratch his back. Don’t forget about erotic massage with scented oil.

Virgo: the stomach. Virgos most easily react to you, when you touch them with your tongue and hair along the stomach. Linger over and kiss the navel and you will see how it works.

Libra: lower back and the buttocks. You can easily distinguish Libra, as they have the sightliest buttocks. In the most intimate moment gently tap on their butt, tingling it archly. You can spice him up if you touch him with you nipples on the lower back.

Scorpio: the sex organs. You shouldn’t be ingenious to find the most sensitive Scorpion’s zones. The slight stroke of his penis can drive him wild. And nothing can turn him on more than oral petting.

Sagittarius: the thighs. Stroking the inner side of their thighs and slight touching of the area that is close to genitals can guarantee to awaken his senses. Sagittarius woman is also sensitive to a gentle play with her hair. Both women and men like when you massage their hips with warm oil.

Capricorn: the knees. His passion fires up when you kiss him under his knees. Slide over his body with your nipples, taking you time near a navel and thighs.

Aquarius: from the calves till the ankles. All the poses that allow touching these zones will prolong his pleasure. They are receptive to a slight caress.

Pisces: the feet. They react when you begin a soft massage, fondling their heels and feet tenderly. With you fingertips or a feather smoothly touch the feet, going round and biting a little and this will give them the most desired pleasure.

Why the WAAF email army is corrupt

2010-05-27T21:25:00.001-04:00

I've been a member of the aaf email army for years now and I have played all the games and trivia and everything. So I bought items and won things, etc. and everything I was supposed to get from them. (about 5 or 6) things over the past few years mysteriously got lost in the mail. I always email them when it happened and they blatently blow me off. A word of advice, don't bother signing up. If you want to play games and stuff, a really cool site is www.gsn.com. Thanks for your time!

Finding Things in 2's

2010-05-27T04:29:00.002-04:00

Lately I have been collecting lucky objects because we definitely all need some luck. Anyway, I found 2 acorns stuck together and 2 four leaf clovers. Eventhough the Bible doesn't believe in luck heres some thing about the number 2 in the Bible

TWO: This number can mean difference, division, or double portion.

•On the second day God created light and darkness. [Genesis 1:3-4]
•The Ten Commandments were inscribed on two tablets of stone. [Exodus 31:18; 32:15; 34:1, 4, 29]
•The children of Israel were forbidden to collect manna on the Sabbath and therefore were permitted to collect a double portion of manna on Friday.[Exodus 16:5]
•On the 6th day of Creation God created two'male and female'of every species in order that fertility might be a blessing to the earth. [Genesis 1:24-31]
•In the New Testament Christians also saw this number as a symbol of the second person of the Trinity, the Incarnation of God the Son in the perfection of His humanity and divinity.

I hope I'm not pregnant.

Right or Left Brained?

2010-05-13T06:19:00.001-04:00

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz
The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others.
Left Brain Dominance:	(16)
Right Brain Dominance:	(16)
Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

Updated Personal Story

2010-05-08T18:56:00.001-04:00

I always wanted to be a closet alcoholic. I loved the idea of being drunk without anyone knowking. As it turns out, it's beyond obvious when I'm drunk. Here's my story. I was born on Leap Year 1976. Originally my mother’s doctor said I was anticipated to be born on January 15th. My mother would start having contractions and go to the hospital. Unfortunately, the doctor would inform her that she was not having contractions. Finally, my grandmother Georgenia was forced to call the doctor and demanded that he do an emergency c-section. Incidentally, the umbilical cord had been binding around my neck causing me to not to break the surface. Then, from what I hear, the nurses coming out of the delivery room were covered in a bloody mess. This scared my relatives who were unsure of what was happening. I survived but I had to be put in an incubator for over a week. Given that I was born so late, my finger nails were even long. After they were sure I would survive, some doctors alleged that if I had been a boy I certainly wouldn't have had the willpower to survive.

The next 3 years went by pretty lovely as far an only child. After 3 years I was bestowed a baby sister and then a year later a brother. One spring morning my mother, sister and I went to awaken my 4 month old brother Michael. He was in his crib facing the wall. My mother lightly called his name. "Michael". Then, Michael didn't respond. Again she called his name and touched his back. He gave no response. Finally she bellowed his name and turned him away from the wall. His face was blue. I suddenly knew what death looked like. Michael was transported to the hospital in the ambulance. Next, all of our family started arriving at our house. I asked my grandmother Marion if Michael would be ok. She said "I can't lie to you, he's dead." They tried to recuperate him but he had died of SIDS.
My mother had put Michael’s crib in my bedroom. My mother required me to wake up with Michael during the night. The night of his death I heard him crying but I was too tired to get up with him. I never told anyone about that because I felt like his death was my fault. The other day I become conscious that I was only 6 years old and I should have never been held responsible for an infant. So, I spent the last 26 years of my life blaming and beating myself up. When in reality, my mother was guilty of neglect.

The next 4 years are a miasma. All I remember were visits with a psychiatrist regularly. We usually played games and I enjoyed seeing her. My parents decided to move out of the projects and buy a house in Winchendon, MA because my mother’s family was meddling in my parent’s affairs. Finally, I felt a wave of abandon from my worries as we moved to Winchendon. I was so eager to move that I left early with the moving truck instead of playing with the neighborhood kids for one last time.

At my new school I was petrified. I cried on the first day that my parents dropped me off. in next to no time a girl in my class befriended me. She gave me the chinwag on all the other kids. Then, at recess she pointed out a red-haired girl named Peggy playing soccer. My new friend warned me to pay no heed to her because she was a dork. Peggy turned out to live right behind my new house. We became good friends for a short time. This was during the time that the Jem cartoon was on TV. One day we called the show frantically trying to win a contest to sing the theme song. I got through to the voicemail while Peggy was in another room and I sang my heart out. Unfortunately, my singing voice is bad. Peggy lived with her grandparents for some reason and the grandfather in particular was a miserable man. He was always getting furious with the kids and I couldn’t be around him.

Soon after, on November 29th of 1985, my sister Tina was born. Once again, it became my responsibility to guard her during the day and wake up with her at night. It was then that I began experimenting with alcohol. My father, being an alcoholic to this day, always had a bottle of Wild Turkey around the house and I would indulge in some on occasion.
The first time I officially got drunk, it was a real disaster. I was at a modest get together in a friend’s parent’s basement/bar. We were making screwdrivers. Rapidly I got so drunk that I blacked out. All I can remember is that my friend Kevin pulled my pants down. Then we must have gone out in his back yard because they wanted to go in the tree house. As I tried to climb up I got to the top and then slipped. While I skidded down the tree my stomach got a long gash on it from a nail that was sticking out. The cut was pointed out to me the next day by my mother. For some reason she was in the bathroom when I was taking my clothes off to take a shower.
After I fell out of the tree house I went into what I thought was the woods but in reality I just walked all the way around a tree and I peed in front of a group of skater kids that had arrived without my being aware of them. The next day I went to school and I was still drunk.
There was also my uncles’ wedding. I was taking "sips" off everyone’s drinks. I ended up on the dj stage doing a karaoke type affair of Sowing the Seeds of Love by Tears for Fears. All the kids at the wedding were in close proximity to the stage cheering me on. It was a pleasant time and that is still one of my favorite songs. All this happened before I even was old enough for high school.

Chapter 2

I did a 360 (as one teacher called it) in high school. I got really into hardcore music and going to shows and I did really well in school at the same time. I made National Honor Society my junior year. They asked me to join as a sophomore but I thought it was too nerdy. When I told my mother that, she insisted that I join in my junior year so I figure "why not?” I received a lot of awards my senior year and graduated 4th in my class. Close to graduation I started dating a friend from Boston. He got me into weed and drinking again. On the day of my graduation party, my mother’s friend gave me some champagne. The party ended early because I got drunk and passed out. The next day I moved in with my boyfriend in Boston. I felt like a cool dude being able to support myself in the city.
I started to feel what a celebrity must feel. There were lights and music and people all the time. So, I began to party like I was famous. I moved around a lot. One of the first places I went to was a room that a friend from high school rented. He and his friends introduced me to acid. The first time I tripped was unreal. I and my friend took the acid in the room and just as it was kicking in, we got a ride from some people. That night brought us to many places, physically and emotionally. My favorite part was when we were peaking and we were sitting on a bench at a baseball field. It felt like it wasn't the ground that we were on but water. I could feel the bench floating and then I flicked a cigarette into the field but it looked we were on a boat in a pond and the cigarette extinguished as soon as it hit the surface. That night started a short love affair with acid. What I loved most about it were the people it introduced me to. I also started going to college at Mass Art during that time. I felt truly free. When I finally settled somewhere it was because a professor of mine could tell that something was going on with me based on my performance in her class. The fact was that I was homeless and out of money. As fate would have it, she had enormous pulling in the housing office. I was in my very own dorm room that day. When I moved out they even gave me my security deposit back (which I never paid for in the first place).

I met a guy named Gus in the dorm and we started drinking together almost every night. One night I had just bought a pair of roller skates at the thrift store and I was skating up and down the halls of the dorm. It was funny because we shared the dorm with M.I.T. students. We would hear them clacking away on their computers and I'm sure they could hear us partying.

On my 19th birthday I started going out with an acquaintance named Dan. I was truly in love. We enjoyed all the same things and he was really funny. We continued to party that year and the next year in the dorms and the following year in our apartment in Allston. It was there that I saw a movie that changed my life.
The movie was Paradise Lost. It's about 3 Arkansas teenagers who were accused and convicted of killing three kids. All the evidence pointed away from the teenagers. I immediately felt that I needed to help them get out of prison. I started by writing to one of the kids, Jason Baldwin. Then I handed out flyers on the streets of Boston encouraging people to see the movie and join the fight to free Jason, Jesse and Damien. The movie was in theatres at the time, I met the guys who made the film in New York City.
They were overjoyed that I was promoting their movie so they invited me to their premier party. There too I met a lot of other fascinating people. I just couldn’t believe I was drinking at a sophisticated New York City party. I don’t ever know where in New York City I was.

Finally, in December of 1996, I met Jason in prison. We had what is called a special visit together for 2 days and by the end of our visits, he asked me to marry him. I was happy and said yes. I went back to Boston and prepared to move closer to Jason. All my friends thought I was crazy and looking back on it I was.
I had a hard time finding an apartment so Jason's mother offered to let me live with her and her other two sons Matt and Terry. I took her up on her offer and moved to Memphis during the summer of 1997. I didn’t know at the time but my parents were about to get divorced. My father suggested that when he drive me down to Memphis that a “friend” from work could come too. Now he’s married to her.
Matt was a few years younger than me and we had a lot in common so we got along right away. Plus, I was 22 and could buy beer so he liked being around me. As sweaty southern trailer dwellers will do, we ended up having sex and we were basically having an affair after that.

When the summer was over, I quickly found a job at the University of Memphis, which I loved. In September I moved into a studio apartment in the Claridge House. I let Matt move in too, to keep me company. Our friendship drunkenly developed into a relationship which quickly went sour. Matt was physically abusive. I gave him a few chances then in the beginning of 1998 he went too far.

I was talking on the telephone with a friend from high school and Matt was fuming with jealousy. He ripped the phone cord out of the wall. Trying to avoid being with him, I laid down and tried to go to bed. I had a futon bunk bed. When I wrapped the comforter around me to go to sleep, he pulled it and I landed on the floor hard. I fell about 4 or 5 feet. I started to run across the room to press the security alarm but right before I got to it, he tackled me to the ground. Matt put me in a scissor type hold on my lower back to keep me from getting up. It worked; I still have a hard time standing up straight to this day. He held me "hostage" in the apartment the whole night. He didn't even let me go to the bathroom by myself.

Coincidentally, someone was picking us up in the morning to go visit Jason. That was my way to get Matt out of the apartment. When we got to the prison, they wouldn't let us in so we headed back to Memphis. Matt couldn't come into the building because he had previously been kicked out for throwing things off the roof. I told security what had happened and they tried to make sure he didn't get in again.

Fear got the best of me and I moved back to Massachusetts a few days later. While in Memphis I had begun showing signs of mental problems which I now know as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Thank God

2010-04-13T08:17:00.001-04:00

Thank you God for the warm weather.

your "secret garden" dreams can come true

2010-03-28T16:20:00.001-04:00

http://www.gardenconservancy.org/opendays/

There is something mysterious we all love about the idea of a ”Secret Garden”. Reading about them is one thing, but visiting one….who knew you could? Now is our chance! Stroll through winding paths overflowing with luscious plants. The Garden Conservancy recruits regional representatives to seek out unique and inspirational private gardens all across the United States in an effort to open them up for public viewing. This project is called “The Open Days Program”. Over 350 landscapes participate from March through the fall each year. Purchase tickets for only $5 per person! Bring the kids, ages 12 and under are FREE! NO RESERVATION REQUIRED! Visit the above link for schedules, locations and more information. These gardens are the the private yards of gardening lovers! They are not your typical parks and gardens designed for “Open To The Public” visitors.

right brain, euphoria, creativity...

2010-03-25T07:42:00.002-04:00

those are all the things I have or will look into after seeing this video: let me know if or it doesn't work or just go to ted.com and click on most emailed videos and then find the one jill something or other, its on of the top ones.

Change of Heart

2010-03-04T13:34:00.002-05:00

I just read Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart. It's full of paradoxes. Her main character is sentenced to death for killing a little girl and a cop but then when he's in prison he starts performing miracles and he is beleived by some to be Jesus. All the while he's trying to get permission to donate his heart to the sister of the girl who as it turns out was killed during a fight with her father, the cop because he caught the father molesting the girl and he went for the gun and she got shot and then the main character did kill the father. Finally, he quotes to his spiritual advisor (who was on the jury that convicted him) supposedly ancient texts that aren't in the bible today called the gospel of Thomas but his miracles start going wrong. So, he gets executed, the girl gets the heart and then he "appears" to his spiritual advisor in the form of a photo of the advisor and his grandfather that was stolen from him before the trial and it was wrapped in a page that contained the gospel of Thomas. We hear from the girl with the heart at the end of the book and then while she's talking she realizes that her dog is dead. She picks his cold body up and screams "NO!, NO!" and her mother runs upstairs to see why she's yelling and the dog is back from the dead.

Reading this book reminds me of when I was giving birth to Maggie. The doctor gave me all kinds of drugs to "stop the pain" but all they did was get me fucked up. So I realized that the drugs the nuses gave me and all the twists in this book that the author provides are all just to keep you quiet/or busy while they do what they need to do.

Back to Reality

2010-02-15T07:13:00.001-05:00

Justin goes back to work today so I'm stuck in the house all week. Luckily winter is almost over. I pray that things keep going good.

JD Salinger

2010-01-29T09:11:00.001-05:00

JD Salinger died yesterday. I wonder if now they can make movies from his books?

Great Reads

2010-01-11T01:56:00.002-05:00

Since I'm trying to be featured in the great reads section of my favorite blog I guess I should say a little something. Here's what's going through my head lately. I'm 33 years old and me and my boyfriend have a beautiful daughter Maggie. For years though I've been struggling with a lot of family differences with my parents and siblings and I don't know what to do because they all hate my boyfriend. We're just trying to raise our daughter in a happy home and it makes me wonder if I should cut them out of my life so we don't have to deal with all the drama? My email is Jendintinosanto@yahoo.com if you have any input you would like to share.

A Photo Found

2009-12-04T17:59:00.002-05:00

The trees are
now grown.
Her smile is visible.
Her face is
not shown.
Darkened face renders invisible.

Buried below,
left a photo behind
Where she lies,
I do not know.
in hopes to remind.

Was she a poet or a seamstress?
Most likely lived on
South Main Street.
or perhaps an actress?
A neighbor I may never meet.

Living in infamy,
without an identity.

Arise

2009-12-04T15:50:00.001-05:00

Have I found
out who
I am?

"It's hard
to be your-
self, when
you don't know
who you are." -Scott from Arise

Time will tell.

Good thing I've Done Today

2009-11-09T12:22:00.002-05:00

Maggie's at Nana's for a while. I've been working on the laundry. Me and Justin went for a nice walk. I found a movie I've been wanting to see. I got on my blog again. I'm going to the library later.

176 Things to do Besides Freak Out - part 3

2009-09-01T07:53:00.001-04:00

141. Buy an appealing essential oil
142. Give yourself a pedicure
143. Go to the library
144. Bake muffins
145. Mop the floor
146. Sort your recycling
147. Say thank you
148. Visit heyitsfree.com
149. Take a nap
150. Make poetry pebbles
151. Putty any holes in your walls
152. Listen to music
153. Browse the bookstore
154. Buy a new perfume or cologne
155. Go swimming at the ymca
156. Stay at a hotel with a hot tub and sauna
157. Take your vitamins
158. Watch a Christmas movie
159. Sell unwanted items on eBay
160. Have a yard sale
161. Find a pen pal
162. Go to an AA meeting
163. Take up a cause
164. Indulge in your favorite sweet
165. Build a snow fort
166. Climb a tree
167. Go for a bike ride
168. Go to a yard sale
169. Join freecycle.org
170. Play with play dough
171. Use your hand to send positive energy to panic spots
172. Use watercolors
173. Pick flowers
174. Buy a bouquet
175. Pick apples
176. Pet an animal

Energy Pills

2009-08-26T17:48:00.001-04:00

I got a free sample of some energy pills and they work great with no jitters. If you too want a free sample just visit:

this link or copying and pasting it in your browser:https://www.smithbryantlabs.com/user/reset/75/1251316254/d08f187c55ba948eb44b091c2335356c

176 Things to do Besides Freak Out - part 2

2009-08-23T18:11:00.001-04:00

70. Play bingo
71. Look at old photos
72. Experiment with a compass
73. Drink earl grey tea
74. Drink chamomile tea
75. Read a book
76. Blow bubbles
77.force a smile
78. Read woman’s world
79. Give yourself a pedicure
80. Get some fresh air
81. Make a pet rock
82. Play basketball
83. Look for a 4 leaf clover
84. Go sledding
85. Build a snowman
86. Stop the ice cream man
87. Say an Our Father
88. Make a sundial
89. Search on-demand
90. Build a fort with blankets
91. watch pee-wee’s big adventure
92. Watch Tommy Boy
93. Go to youtube.com
94. Write a story
95. Buy new shoes
96. Burn incense
97. Make a turkey dinner
98. Chew gum
99. Play cards
100. Go on the computer
101. Make a fanzine
102. Photocopy pics and tint them
103. Do watercolors
104. Make dough
105. Smell flowers
106. Eat chocolate
107. Write a letter
108. Watch Sesame Street
109. Learn to juggle
110. Learn from a child
111. Squeeze a stress ball
112. Sleep naked
113. Paint a portrait
114. Wash your car
115. Take a walk
116. Do sprints
117. Watch a local sports game
118. Go to an art show
119. Drink a smoothie
120. Go to a fair
121. Look for freebies online
122. Dust
123. Dance
124. Practice martial arts
125. Try a new recipe
126. Clear the clutter
127. Look at cloud shapes
128. Play a board game
129. Brush your teeth
130. Wash your hair
131. Get Chinese food
132. Do neck stretches
133. Go camping
134. Buy a plant
135. Organize a nature scavenger hunt
136. Close your eyes for 6 minutes
137. Hold a stuffed animal
138. Do yoga
139. Research something you’re curious about
140. Write a fan letter

176 Things to do Besides Freak Out - part 1

2009-08-23T12:08:00.002-04:00

Sometimes the stress level gets too high. I though of some things you can do to distract yourself, and perhaps find a new hobby.

1. Listen to nature
2. Listen to music
3. Discover a famous artist
4. Play at the playground
5. Make to 10 lists
6. Learn some new words
7. Write in a journal
8. Go to a store and smell aromas
9. Take a class
10. Learn to sing
11. Send a love letter
12. Watch a sunrise or sunset
13. Go swimming
14. Lift weights
15. Stretch
16. Deep breathing
17. Find a pond
18. Learn something new
19. Focus on your breathing
20. Start a collection
21. Join a yahoo! Group
22. Drink flavored tea
23. Watch a funny movie
24. Cry
25. Paint your nails
26. Ask for a massage
27. Pick flowers
28. Sit at a bright window
29. Drive on back roads
30. Visit a relative
31. Take a cold shower
32. Take a hot bath
33. Climb a tree
34. Try a new food
35. Bake chocolate chip cookies
36. Do arts and crafts
37. Color
38. Do a crossword puzzle
39. Clean your closet
40. Ride a bike
41. Learn a foreign language
42. Plant a seed
43. Give someone a massage
44. Ask for a hug
45. Burn a scented candle
46. Meditate
47. Play with your kid
48. Get a haircut
49. Do dishes
50. Go a farmers market
51. Go to a natural foods store
52. Go to church
53. Pray
54. Think of something good that happened
55. Start a self esteem file
56. Call a friend
57. Walk on the beach
58. Color eggs (even if its not easter)
59. Wrap up in a comfy blanket
60. Do 3 reps of 12 crunches
61. Look at the stars
62. Watch your favorite movie
63. Play online games
64. Build a campfire
65. Roast marshmallows
66. Have a cookout
67. Go window shopping
68. Take 3 deep breaths
69. Pet an animal

Gratitude is my Attitude

2009-08-07T07:44:00.002-04:00

I'm grateful for: God, Maggie, Justin, shelter, food, the sun, flowers, plants, trees, cars, money, Kelly, Felicia, Veronica, Ashlee, Adam Sandler, Johnny Depp, my back yard, fruits, vegetables, books, movies, journals, and more to come.

This Quote is Cool

2009-08-05T09:18:00.003-04:00

"for one who reads, there is no limit to the number of lives that may be lived, for fiction, biography and history offer an inexhaustible number of lives in many parts of the world in all periods of time" - Louis L'Amour

Nanny Peg

2009-07-23T07:35:00.002-04:00

There once was a lady named Nanny Peg. At least that's what us kids were ordered to call her. We used to visit her sometimes and I always felt a little scared over there. I don't even know how we knew her but I always thought her name was progressive - Nanny Peg.

off the top of my head

2009-07-21T16:08:00.002-04:00

so, here goes. I'm at the computer, kinda avoiding everyone. Justins playing peggle and Maggie is watching a movie. We've run out of ideas on how to have funn for free (when it isn't raining). You can't drive up mount wachusett right now and you can't swim at Dunns. This summer has not been one of the best. The summer of 2001 was probably my best. Remember Ashlee?!
We're totally broke this summer too so the only place we've gone is to Mystic Aquarium and we went to see the penguins but they're area was closed off because they were changing it. I mean is it me or do I seem cursed. If anyone knows how to find out who is cursing you and stop it let me know. That's enough for now.

A Poem about Fear

2009-07-20T12:08:00.002-04:00

Fear now, fear then, fear again.

Past is scary,
snakes and bombs

Present is scary,
depression, no songs

Fear now, fear then, fear again.

Relax

2009-07-15T23:17:00.002-04:00

My alone time is not to be forsaken,
slip into meditation.

Loosening is what I crave,
tense every muscle then make them behave.

The sound of crickets and running water,
Foot rubs make me even hotter.

Now we can play,
let's continue our day.

Where Did I Go?

2009-07-15T08:19:00.003-04:00

I used to know you so well.
I knew just what would make your heart swell.

I knew the music you loved.
You were a little smug.

You're passions were evident - barefaced indeed.

You were blissfu, fleeful and tickled.

Your return is what I need.

I'm in the River and I'm in the Woods

2009-07-09T09:48:00.003-04:00

In a story
dating back to 1973, a very old house on 91 Old Sudbury Rd, Wayland MA, was reported to be haunted. The house was originally built in late 17th or early 18th century. The house's biggest claim to fame was that Lydia Maria Child lived out here final years there. (She was the poet who wrote "over the river and through the woods to grandmoher's house we go"). Over the years other rooms and pieces were added to the house.

I rewrote over the river and through the woods. Which was originally called "A Boy's Thanksgiving Day"

July 9, 2009, 9:52 AM
Jen D’Intinosanto

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
To haunt the house we go
I know the way, to deliver dismay
Your mind I will a’ blow

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
Oh, how my wind does blow
I’ll sting your toes and bite your nose
As underground I go

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
I love to haunt all day
Hear your heart beat, thumpety thump
Hooray for haunting day

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
Think fast this scary day
Spring over the ground like a hunted hound
I’ll bang the doors today

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
And straight through hells gate,
you seem to run extremely slow
From this nightmare you want to wake

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
I’m a ghost who doesn’t lie
Hurray for the fun, you want this haunting done
I didn’t want to die.

My Life in Movie Format chapter 6

2009-07-02T06:29:00.002-04:00

I was making handmade cards at the time so I sent one to Justin. After he received it in the mail he called it. It happened to be during the series finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer so I told him I would call him back. We set up a time to hang out.

We went to the 99 restaurant with Kara and Brownie. Everyone was drinking except me. Justin and I went outside to smoke a cigarette. While standing under the awning because it was raining, I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend. We made love that night. In the morning he woke me up and said he had to leave to go to band practice. I thought it was his way of doing a one night stand with me.

A week later he called me. I was glad he did. After that we saw each other almost every day. Around the 4th of July we went and stayed at the beach in Maine for a few days. While we were there Justin got really drunk and passed out during the day. I waited 2 hours and then I woke him up. That was the first time he ever got mad at me. He was grumpy and I started to feel like he didn't love me.

After being around so much drinking I finally gave in and picked up a beer. My drinking caused problems because I'm a very different person when I'm drunk. I'm one of those annoying drunks.

At the time I was going to BSC and working in the photo lab for work study. Justin would visit me while I was working and we had sex in the dark room two times. Once in the film room while everyone was next door printing photos and once in the darkroom while I was supposed to be cleaning up for the day.

The next few months were a whirlwind of adventures, drunkenness and fun. Then in December of 2003 I missed my period. I didn't think much of it but Justin insisted that I get a pregnancy test. As soon as my pee soaked into the test strip it said I was pregnant.

10 questions that are important to me (in no order)

2009-06-21T14:19:00.003-04:00

1. Will I resolve my financial aid issues?
2. Am I doing a good job raising Maggie?
3. Am I making God happy?
4. Is Michael watching me from heaven and is he mad at me?
5. Will I see Chippy again?
6. Where can I find gold?
7. Will I feel manic tomorrow?
8. Is research a good field for me?
9. Is there a forrm of transportation that is as fast as flying but you're not?
10.Can I stay happy forever?

Acedia

2009-06-17T22:08:00.002-04:00

Sloth is Acedia.
A state of listlessness.

Most common to me.
Most feared, I see.

Physical and Psychological sickness.
Panic attacks and depression.

Idle hands?
Try diligence!

Poetry Pebbles

2009-04-28T07:25:00.002-04:00

"Nightmare"

FunHouse

Cry Ride

Red Ran

Went Away

"Self Portrait"

It's Black or White

I Love the Sand,

Blue Fruit.

Parent to Maggie.

Tan Cat.

Try Purple.

"Future"

"They bike in the sun for green food".

"Weird"

dog the God

Wine in orange!

Walk mad car.

A Beautiful Mind

2009-04-22T09:15:00.002-04:00

I guess it's a coincidence that I had a nervous breakdown and am doing the day program at the mental hospital while we're reading "A Beautiful Mind".

I've had a rough month so I didn't get to read much of the book but I watched the movie. I don't have schizophrenia but I think one of the women on the ward does. She talks to people but calls them by different names and talks about things that aren't even going on.

John Nash does have an amazing life, worthy of writing about but everyone does if you think about it. Nash is very smart and he was awarded the nobel prize. If only all people with mental illness could be so lucky. Usually it's a constant struggle. For most of us we can't even hold down a minimum wage job.

Being at the hospital helped me learn to cope with daily life but I'm far from being the star of a movie or winning any awards.

Summertime Rules

2009-02-12T11:19:00.002-05:00

"Do you wanna go in the water?" To which he replied "beat'cha there". They ran toward the lake. When they got in they slowed down because of the rocks under their feet. They both thought it was weird how some patches of the water were really cold. Almost like winter didn't want to leave those places.

"Stay right there" called their father "don't go out too far". They took turns swimming through each other's legs and clicking rocks under the water in some new form of Morse code.

When the ice cream truck came everyone ran to get a treat. One kid in front of me actually tried to pay with a wooden nickel, how cliche. "I'll pay for his too" I said. It was just one day in the best summer ever.

My Life in Movie Format chapter 5

2009-02-08T07:43:00.002-05:00

I hit the (40) bottle hard when I got home. My drinking buddy was Justin. The man I eventually had a daughter with. But at the time the sexual part of the relationship wasn't there. A fact that drove Justin crazy. He spent a while in the "looney bin" (as he calls it). When he got out he drove to Florida to stay with family.

I continued to drink but because of the OCD I was also washing my hands for what seemed like 90 % of the time. My first therapist, Dr. Haddad told me (along with everyone else) that I should just go ahead and tough the door handle, it will be fine. I didn't think so. So I dropped him and found some more experienced people who took my fears seriously. By seriously I mean they drugged me up. I've been on everything from Abilify and Klonopin to Zoloft and Seraquil. I just seemed to get worse. Of course, you're not supposed to drink on the meds but I did anyway...heavily. One night I got so drunk and stressed that I started banging my head against the wall. There's also been cutting and other self destructive behavior.

It wasn't until I was put on a combination of Abilify, Prozac and Klonopin and stopped drinking that I started to feel better. I gained more confidence and the first thing I did was get back in touch with Justin.

Psalm 138

2009-01-29T10:32:00.002-05:00

As I walk forward, I stare at the freshly plowed sidewalk I'm walking upon.

A sidewalk that 15 minutes earlier had been covered with mountains and craters of snow.

I wonder if this is a sign that better days are near?

In The Spirit

2009-01-19T10:39:00.002-05:00

I am listening to the audio book of "In the Spirit" (it's on the wishlist to the right). It's a cross between the messages in The Shack and The Secret. She deals with a lot of issues like self-esteem, money and especially finding your faith.

My Life in Movie Format chapter 4

2009-01-10T07:06:00.002-05:00

The movie was Paradise Lost. It's about 3 Arkansas teenagers who were accused and convicted of killing three kids. All the evidence painted away from the teenagers. I immediately flet that I needed to help them get out of prison. I started by writing to one of the kids, Jason Baldwin. Then I handed out flyers on the streets of Boston encouraging people to see the movie and join the fight to free Jason, Jesse and Damien. Because of my efforts and the fact that the movie was in theatres at the time, I met the guys who made the film in New York City. I also met a lot of other interesting people.

Finally, in December of 1996, I met Jason in prison. We visited together for 2 days and by the end of our visits, he asked me to marry him. I was happy and said yes. I went back to Boston and prepared to move closer to Jason. I had a hard time finding an apartment so Jason's mother offered to let me live with her and her other two sons Matt and Terry. I took her up on her offer and moved to Memphis during the summer of 1997. Matt was a few years younger than me and we had a lot in common so we got along right away. Plus, I was 22 and could buy beer so he liked being around me.

I quickly found a job at the University of Memphis, which I loved. In September I moved into a studio apartment in the Claridge House. I let Matt move in too, to keep me company. Our frienndship drunkenly developed into a relationship which quickly went sour. Matt was physically abusive. I gave him a few chances then in the beginning of 1998 he went too far.

I was talking on the phone with a friend from high school and Matt got jealous. He ripped the phone cord out of the wall. I laid down and tried to go to bed. It was a bunk bed and he pulled me off the top bunk. I fell about 4 or 5 feet. I started to run across the room to press the security alarm but right before I got to it, he tackled me to the ground. He put me in a scissor hold on my lower back to keep me from getting up. It worked, I still have a hard time standing up straight to this day. He held me "hostage" in the apartment the whole night. He didn't even let me go to the bathroom by myself.

Luckily, someone was picking us up in the morning to go visit Jason. That was my way to get Matt out of the apartment. When we got to the prison, they wouldn't let us in so we headed back to Memphis. Matt couldn't come into the building because he had previously been kicked out for throwing things off the roof. I told security what had happened andd they tried to make sure he didn't get in again.

Fear got the best of me and I moved back to Massachusetts a few days later. While in Memphis I had begun showing signs of mental problems which I now know is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2009-01-09T06:58:00.002-05:00

I just read "Are We Having Fun Yet? The 16 secrets of Happy Parenting" by Kay Willis and Maryann Bucknum Brinley.

The 16 secrets are so simple yet usually overlooked.

Happy Parents...

1. enjoy parenting, they don't endure it.
2. Refuel, Restore, Renew
3. Borrow from Big Business
4. Know that Attitude is Almost Everything
5. Create a Cozy Atmosphere
6. Know that Fathers are MVPs.
7. Listen, Listen, Listen
8. Know When to Say Yes
9. Aren't Perfect
10. Know That Labels Can Stunt Growth
11. Know That Guilt Is a Waste of Time
12. Know that Resentment Poisons a Family
13. Never Stop Growing
14. Let Their Children Get the Best of Them
15. Romance
16. Make Happy Memories.

I recommend this book to every mother (or soon to be mother). It's awesome!

My Revelation

2009-01-02T07:11:00.000-05:00

I said that my brother died at 4 months old. Well, there's more to the story. My mother put his crib in mine and my sisters room. I was 6, she was 3. My mother expected me to wake up with Michael during the night. The night of his death I heard him crying but I was too tired to get up with him. I never told anyone about that because I felt like his death was my fault. The other day I realized that I was only 6 years old and I should have never been held responsible for an infant. I spent the last 26 years of my life blaming and beating myself up. When in reality, my mother was guilty of neglect. I'm done blaming myself and I'm done with my mothers abuse!

It's Like a Rainbow Vanishing

2008-12-31T06:38:00.000-05:00

To me that means a good thing. For example, after a bad storm, then there's a rainbow and once it has vanished, you can go on with your day (or life).

The Shack

2008-12-28T07:05:00.000-05:00

I finished reading The Shack.

Mackenzie Allen Phillips's youngest daughter Missy , has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence thhat she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later, in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend.

Against his better judgement he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternnoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will changge Mack's world forever.

In a world where religiion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant THE SHACK wrestles with the timeless question, "Where is God in a world filled with unspeakable pain?" The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!

for more info go to www.theshackbook.com

Love,

Jen

My Life in Movie Format chapter 3

2008-12-23T09:59:00.000-05:00

I started to feel what a celebrity must feel. There was lights and music and people all the time. So, I began to party like I was famous. I moved around a lot. One of the first places I went to was a room that a friend from high school rented. He and his friends introduced me to acid. The first time I tripped was unreal. Me and my friend took the acid in the room and just as it was kicking in, we got a ride from some people.

That night brought us to many places, physically and emotionally. My favorite part was when we were peaking and we were sitting on a bench at a baseball field. It felt like it wasn't the ground that we were on but water. I could feel the bench floating and then I flicked a cigarette into the field and looked like the "water" put it out. That night started a short love affair with acid. What I loved most about it was the people it introduced me to.

I also started going to college at Mass Art during that time. I felt truly free. When I finally settled somewhere it was because a professor of mine knew something was going on with me. The fact was that I was homeless and out of money. As fate would have it, she had enormous pulling in the housing office. I was in my very own dorm room that day.

I met a guy named Gus in the dorm and we started drinking together almost every night. One night I had just bought a pair of roller skates at the thrift store and I was skating up and down the halls of the dorm. It was funny because we shared the dorm with M.I.T. students. We would hear them clacking away on their computers and I'm sure they could hear us partying.

On my birthday I started going out with a friend named Dan. I was truly in love. We enjoyed all the same things and he was really funny. We continued to party that year and the next year in the dorms and the following year in our apartment in Allston. It was there that I saw a movie that changed my life.

Stick To Your Guns

2008-12-18T15:15:00.000-05:00

I saw a shirt today that said "Stick to your guns". It made me realize that I can't do that because I don't have any guns. I give up on everything and I don't really stand for anything. I'm 32 years old. I need to find my guns.

55 Word Story (Spoiled)

2008-11-28T09:51:00.002-05:00

She always asked them for a new outfit. They always said yes.

She was a spoiled girl. She wanted to be an only child. She actually has four brothers and three sisters.

Every person finally got fed up with her greed. She eventually lost every penny.

And now she is getting what she truly deserves.

Panic

2008-11-28T09:51:00.001-05:00

Look in the mirror
Imagine the result

Let thought run and travel

Fear building
Concentration dwindling

Panic is here

My Life in Movie Format chapter 2

2008-11-28T09:51:00.000-05:00

The first time I officially got drunk, it was a real mess. I was at a small get together in a friends parents basement/bar. We were making screwdrivers. Quickly I got so drunk tthat I blacked out. From what I was told, I fell out of the tree house. Then I peed in front of the group of skater kids that had shown up without my being aware of them. The next day I went to school and I was still drunk. Also, there was my uncles wedding. I was taking "sips" off everyones drinks. I ended up on stage singing Sowing the Seeds of Love by Tears for Fears. It was a good time and that is still one of my favorite songs. All this stuff happened before I was old enough for high school.

For some reason, I did a 360 (as one teacher called it) in high school. I got really into hardcore music and going to shows and I did really good in school at the same time. I made National Honor Society my junior year. They asked me to join as a sophmore but I thought it was too nerdy. When I told my mother that, she insisted that I join in my junior year so I figure "why not?". I received a lot of awards my senior year and graduated 4th in my class.

Close to graduation I started dating a friend from Boston. He got me into weed and drinking again. On the day of my graduation party, my mothers friend gave me some champage. The party ended early because I got drunk and passed out. The next day I moved in with my boyfriend in Boston.

A Few Traits

2008-11-24T09:16:00.000-05:00

Maggie's wit is like Dennis Miller's and she's only four years old.

She's as cute as a fluffy calico kitten.

Her intelligence shines like a flood light in a snow filled yard at night.

My Life in Movie Format chapter 1

2008-11-15T20:55:00.000-05:00

My life has always felt like a movie about a drug addicted actress. Except, I don't know how to act.

It all started on February 29, 1976 which is a leap year. I was supposed to be born on January 15th. My mother would go into labor and the doctor would tell her that I wasn't ready to come out. Finally my grandmother Georgenia called the doctor and told him to do an emergency c-section. Because I was born so late, my finger nails were even long.

I spent the first week of my life in an incubator. The cord had been wrapped around my neck causing me not to be born. The doctors said that if I had been a boy I probably wouldn't have had the will to survive.

The next 5 years went pretty smooth. I was even given a baby sister and brother. One morning my mother, sister and me went to wake up my 4 month old brother Michael. He
was in his crib facing the wall. My mother gently called his name. "Michael". He didn't respond. She called his name louder and touched his back. No response. Then she screamed his name and turned him away from the wall. His face was blue. I now knew what death looked like. Michael was rushed in the ambulance. All of our family started arriving at our house. I asked my grandmother Marion if Michael would be ok. She said "I can't lie to you, he's dead."

The next 4 years are a blur. All I remember is having to visit with a psychiatrist regularly. Finally, I felt a wave of freedom from my worries as we moved to Winchendon. I was so ready to move that I left early with the moving truck instead of playing with the neighborhood kids for one last time.

At my new school I was scared. I cried on the day that my parents dropped me off but soon a girl in my class befriended me. She gave me her lowdown on all the other kids. At recess we saw a red-haired girl named Peggy playing soccer. My new friend warned me to avoid her because she had was a dork. Peggy turned out to live right behind my new house. We became good friends for a while. This was during the time that the Jem cartoon was on TV. One day we called the show frantically trying to win a contest to sing the theme song. I got through to the voicemail while Peggy was in another room and I sang my heart out. Unfortunately, my singing voice is as bad as Mariah Carey is annoying.

On November 29th of 1985, my sister Tina was born. It soon became my responsibility to take care of her during the day and wake up with her at night. It was then that I began experimenting with alcohol. My father always had a bottle of Wild Turkey around and I would "enjoy" some on special occasions like 4th of July, when I was bored and when my parents weren't around.