Change of Heart

I just read Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart. It's full of paradoxes. Her main character is sentenced to death for killing a little girl and a cop but then when he's in prison he starts performing miracles and he is beleived by some to be Jesus. All the while he's trying to get permission to donate his heart to the sister of the girl who as it turns out was killed during a fight with her father, the cop because he caught the father molesting the girl and he went for the gun and she got shot and then the main character did kill the father. Finally, he quotes to his spiritual advisor (who was on the jury that convicted him) supposedly ancient texts that aren't in the bible today called the gospel of Thomas but his miracles start going wrong. So, he gets executed, the girl gets the heart and then he "appears" to his spiritual advisor in the form of a photo of the advisor and his grandfather that was stolen from him before the trial and it was wrapped in a page that contained the gospel of Thomas. We hear from the girl with the heart at the end of the book and then while she's talking she realizes that her dog is dead. She picks his cold body up and screams "NO!, NO!" and her mother runs upstairs to see why she's yelling and the dog is back from the dead.

Reading this book reminds me of when I was giving birth to Maggie. The doctor gave me all kinds of drugs to "stop the pain" but all they did was get me fucked up. So I realized that the drugs the nuses gave me and all the twists in this book that the author provides are all just to keep you quiet/or busy while they do what they need to do.

Back to Reality

Justin goes back to work today so I'm stuck in the house all week. Luckily winter is almost over. I pray that things keep going good.

JD Salinger

JD Salinger died yesterday. I wonder if now they can make movies from his books?

Great Reads

Since I'm trying to be featured in the great reads section of my favorite blog I guess I should say a little something. Here's what's going through my head lately. I'm 33 years old and me and my boyfriend have a beautiful daughter Maggie. For years though I've been struggling with a lot of family differences with my parents and siblings and I don't know what to do because they all hate my boyfriend. We're just trying to raise our daughter in a happy home and it makes me wonder if I should cut them out of my life so we don't have to deal with all the drama? My email is Jendintinosanto@yahoo.com if you have any input you would like to share.

A Photo Found

The trees are
now grown.
Her smile is visible.
Her face is
not shown.
Darkened face renders invisible.

Buried below,
left a photo behind
Where she lies,
I do not know.
in hopes to remind.

Was she a poet or a seamstress?
Most likely lived on
South Main Street.
or perhaps an actress?
A neighbor I may never meet.

Living in infamy,
without an identity.

Arise

Have I found
out who
I am?

"It's hard
to be your-
self, when
you don't know
who you are." -Scott from Arise

Time will tell.

Good thing I've Done Today

Maggie's at Nana's for a while. I've been working on the laundry. Me and Justin went for a nice walk. I found a movie I've been wanting to see. I got on my blog again. I'm going to the library later.

176 Things to do Besides Freak Out - part 3

141. Buy an appealing essential oil
142. Give yourself a pedicure
143. Go to the library
144. Bake muffins
145. Mop the floor
146. Sort your recycling
147. Say thank you
148. Visit heyitsfree.com
149. Take a nap
150. Make poetry pebbles
151. Putty any holes in your walls
152. Listen to music
153. Browse the bookstore
154. Buy a new perfume or cologne
155. Go swimming at the ymca
156. Stay at a hotel with a hot tub and sauna
157. Take your vitamins
158. Watch a Christmas movie
159. Sell unwanted items on eBay
160. Have a yard sale
161. Find a pen pal
162. Go to an AA meeting
163. Take up a cause
164. Indulge in your favorite sweet
165. Build a snow fort
166. Climb a tree
167. Go for a bike ride
168. Go to a yard sale
169. Join freecycle.org
170. Play with play dough
171. Use your hand to send positive energy to panic spots
172. Use watercolors
173. Pick flowers
174. Buy a bouquet
175. Pick apples
176. Pet an animal

Energy Pills

I got a free sample of some energy pills and they work great with no jitters. If you too want a free sample just visit:

this link or copying and pasting it in your browser:https://www.smithbryantlabs.com/user/reset/75/1251316254/d08f187c55ba948eb44b091c2335356c

176 Things to do Besides Freak Out - part 2

70. Play bingo
71. Look at old photos
72. Experiment with a compass
73. Drink earl grey tea
74. Drink chamomile tea
75. Read a book
76. Blow bubbles
77.force a smile
78. Read woman’s world
79. Give yourself a pedicure
80. Get some fresh air
81. Make a pet rock
82. Play basketball
83. Look for a 4 leaf clover
84. Go sledding
85. Build a snowman
86. Stop the ice cream man
87. Say an Our Father
88. Make a sundial
89. Search on-demand
90. Build a fort with blankets
91. watch pee-wee’s big adventure
92. Watch Tommy Boy
93. Go to youtube.com
94. Write a story
95. Buy new shoes
96. Burn incense
97. Make a turkey dinner
98. Chew gum
99. Play cards
100. Go on the computer
101. Make a fanzine
102. Photocopy pics and tint them
103. Do watercolors
104. Make dough
105. Smell flowers
106. Eat chocolate
107. Write a letter
108. Watch Sesame Street
109. Learn to juggle
110. Learn from a child
111. Squeeze a stress ball
112. Sleep naked
113. Paint a portrait
114. Wash your car
115. Take a walk
116. Do sprints
117. Watch a local sports game
118. Go to an art show
119. Drink a smoothie
120. Go to a fair
121. Look for freebies online
122. Dust
123. Dance
124. Practice martial arts
125. Try a new recipe
126. Clear the clutter
127. Look at cloud shapes
128. Play a board game
129. Brush your teeth
130. Wash your hair
131. Get Chinese food
132. Do neck stretches
133. Go camping
134. Buy a plant
135. Organize a nature scavenger hunt
136. Close your eyes for 6 minutes
137. Hold a stuffed animal
138. Do yoga
139. Research something you’re curious about
140. Write a fan letter

176 Things to do Besides Freak Out - part 1

Sometimes the stress level gets too high. I though of some things you can do to distract yourself, and perhaps find a new hobby.


1. Listen to nature
2. Listen to music
3. Discover a famous artist
4. Play at the playground
5. Make to 10 lists
6. Learn some new words
7. Write in a journal
8. Go to a store and smell aromas
9. Take a class
10. Learn to sing
11. Send a love letter
12. Watch a sunrise or sunset
13. Go swimming
14. Lift weights
15. Stretch
16. Deep breathing
17. Find a pond
18. Learn something new
19. Focus on your breathing
20. Start a collection
21. Join a yahoo! Group
22. Drink flavored tea
23. Watch a funny movie
24. Cry
25. Paint your nails
26. Ask for a massage
27. Pick flowers
28. Sit at a bright window
29. Drive on back roads
30. Visit a relative
31. Take a cold shower
32. Take a hot bath
33. Climb a tree
34. Try a new food
35. Bake chocolate chip cookies
36. Do arts and crafts
37. Color
38. Do a crossword puzzle
39. Clean your closet
40. Ride a bike
41. Learn a foreign language
42. Plant a seed
43. Give someone a massage
44. Ask for a hug
45. Burn a scented candle
46. Meditate
47. Play with your kid
48. Get a haircut
49. Do dishes
50. Go a farmers market
51. Go to a natural foods store
52. Go to church
53. Pray
54. Think of something good that happened
55. Start a self esteem file
56. Call a friend
57. Walk on the beach
58. Color eggs (even if its not easter)
59. Wrap up in a comfy blanket
60. Do 3 reps of 12 crunches
61. Look at the stars
62. Watch your favorite movie
63. Play online games
64. Build a campfire
65. Roast marshmallows
66. Have a cookout
67. Go window shopping
68. Take 3 deep breaths
69. Pet an animal

Gratitude is my Attitude

I'm grateful for: God, Maggie, Justin, shelter, food, the sun, flowers, plants, trees, cars, money, Kelly, Felicia, Veronica, Ashlee, Adam Sandler, Johnny Depp, my back yard, fruits, vegetables, books, movies, journals, and more to come.

This Quote is Cool

"for one who reads, there is no limit to the number of lives that may be lived, for fiction, biography and history offer an inexhaustible number of lives in many parts of the world in all periods of time" - Louis L'Amour

Nanny Peg

There once was a lady named Nanny Peg. At least that's what us kids were ordered to call her. We used to visit her sometimes and I always felt a little scared over there. I don't even know how we knew her but I always thought her name was progressive - Nanny Peg.

off the top of my head

so, here goes. I'm at the computer, kinda avoiding everyone. Justins playing peggle and Maggie is watching a movie. We've run out of ideas on how to have funn for free (when it isn't raining). You can't drive up mount wachusett right now and you can't swim at Dunns. This summer has not been one of the best. The summer of 2001 was probably my best. Remember Ashlee?!
We're totally broke this summer too so the only place we've gone is to Mystic Aquarium and we went to see the penguins but they're area was closed off because they were changing it. I mean is it me or do I seem cursed. If anyone knows how to find out who is cursing you and stop it let me know. That's enough for now.

A Poem about Fear

Fear now, fear then, fear again.

Past is scary,
snakes and bombs

Present is scary,
depression, no songs

Fear now, fear then, fear again.

Relax

My alone time is not to be forsaken,
slip into meditation.

Loosening is what I crave,
tense every muscle then make them behave.

The sound of crickets and running water,
Foot rubs make me even hotter.

Now we can play,
let's continue our day.

Where Did I Go?

I used to know you so well.
I knew just what would make your heart swell.

I knew the music you loved.
You were a little smug.

You're passions were evident - barefaced indeed.

You were blissfu, fleeful and tickled.

Your return is what I need.

I'm in the River and I'm in the Woods

In a story
dating back to 1973, a very old house on 91 Old Sudbury Rd, Wayland MA, was reported to be haunted. The house was originally built in late 17th or early 18th century. The house's biggest claim to fame was that Lydia Maria Child lived out here final years there. (She was the poet who wrote "over the river and through the woods to grandmoher's house we go"). Over the years other rooms and pieces were added to the house.

I rewrote over the river and through the woods. Which was originally called "A Boy's Thanksgiving Day"


July 9, 2009, 9:52 AM
Jen D’Intinosanto

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods


I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
To haunt the house we go
I know the way, to deliver dismay
Your mind I will a’ blow

I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
Oh, how my wind does blow
I’ll sting your toes and bite your nose
As underground I go


I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
I love to haunt all day
Hear your heart beat, thumpety thump
Hooray for haunting day


I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
Think fast this scary day
Spring over the ground like a hunted hound
I’ll bang the doors today


I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
And straight through hells gate,
you seem to run extremely slow
From this nightmare you want to wake


I’m in the river and I’m in the woods
I’m a ghost who doesn’t lie
Hurray for the fun, you want this haunting done
I didn’t want to die.

My Life in Movie Format chapter 6

I was making handmade cards at the time so I sent one to Justin. After he received it in the mail he called it. It happened to be during the series finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer so I told him I would call him back. We set up a time to hang out.

We went to the 99 restaurant with Kara and Brownie. Everyone was drinking except me. Justin and I went outside to smoke a cigarette. While standing under the awning because it was raining, I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend. We made love that night. In the morning he woke me up and said he had to leave to go to band practice. I thought it was his way of doing a one night stand with me.

A week later he called me. I was glad he did. After that we saw each other almost every day. Around the 4th of July we went and stayed at the beach in Maine for a few days. While we were there Justin got really drunk and passed out during the day. I waited 2 hours and then I woke him up. That was the first time he ever got mad at me. He was grumpy and I started to feel like he didn't love me.

After being around so much drinking I finally gave in and picked up a beer. My drinking caused problems because I'm a very different person when I'm drunk. I'm one of those annoying drunks.

At the time I was going to BSC and working in the photo lab for work study. Justin would visit me while I was working and we had sex in the dark room two times. Once in the film room while everyone was next door printing photos and once in the darkroom while I was supposed to be cleaning up for the day.

The next few months were a whirlwind of adventures, drunkenness and fun. Then in December of 2003 I missed my period. I didn't think much of it but Justin insisted that I get a pregnancy test. As soon as my pee soaked into the test strip it said I was pregnant.