I hit the (40) bottle hard when I got home. My drinking buddy was Justin. The man I eventually had a daughter with. But at the time the sexual part of the relationship wasn't there. A fact that drove Justin crazy. He spent a while in the "looney bin" (as he calls it). When he got out he drove to Florida to stay with family.
I continued to drink but because of the OCD I was also washing my hands for what seemed like 90 % of the time. My first therapist, Dr. Haddad told me (along with everyone else) that I should just go ahead and tough the door handle, it will be fine. I didn't think so. So I dropped him and found some more experienced people who took my fears seriously. By seriously I mean they drugged me up. I've been on everything from Abilify and Klonopin to Zoloft and Seraquil. I just seemed to get worse. Of course, you're not supposed to drink on the meds but I did anyway...heavily. One night I got so drunk and stressed that I started banging my head against the wall. There's also been cutting and other self destructive behavior.
It wasn't until I was put on a combination of Abilify, Prozac and Klonopin and stopped drinking that I started to feel better. I gained more confidence and the first thing I did was get back in touch with Justin.
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